You can GET chocolate. 
“If you love me you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate. 
Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. 
You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. 
You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to. 
You can have chocolate even in front of your mother. 
If you bite the nuts too [...]

There is a blonde driving down the road in a red corvette. She gets pulled over for speeding. The cop goes up to her car and says, “Can I see your licence please?” The blonde, looking really confused, says, “Whats that?” The cop rolls his eyes and says, “It’s a little card with your name [...]

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination.The farmer doesn’t have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting [...]

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Nike Condoms: Just do it. 
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling. 
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby. 
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can’t stop. 
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker. 
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten millon strong andgrowing. 
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but Ph balanced for a woman. 
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its [...]

Confucious say:

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. 
Man who stand on toilet high on pot. 
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl. 
Man who jizz in cash register come into money. 
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time. 
Man who fart in church [...]